5 Ways to Communicate Better With Your Partner

Have you ever found yourself positioned in the middle of a heated argument with your partner, desperate for a more effective way to communicate?

Listen, each relationship in life is going to include a disagreement or two – some menial and some seemingly insurmountable. But the difference between a fight that leaves both of you seething for days and a constructive conflict that brings you closer together is communication.

Effective, compassionate, and loving communication, that is.

That’s right. You can choose to be loving even when your blood is just on the verge of boiling.

When you have tools for efficient, direct communication fastened in your tool belt, you’ll be able to approach each confrontation with a bit of understanding and faith, which is why we’re here to tell you about a few simple yet powerful ways to make your communication with your partner flow better than ever.

So, if you want to infuse your relationships with productive communication, keep reading!

5 Ways to Communicate Better with Your Partner

1. A Metaphorical (Or Physical) Talking Stick

Remember when we were younger and in group settings? It was quite difficult to carry on a conversation with everyone speaking at once, which is why a talking stick was sometimes employed. This is actually an ancient practice that stems from Indigenous cultures, and the idea is that whoever has the talking stick is the one who gets to speak.

And everyone else must listen.

In conversations, especially heated ones, we’re often somewhere in our heads, thinking of the next thing to say rather than really listening to the person speaking. One of the easiest ways to make sure that you’re both getting your points across is to make the commitment to truly listen to one another.

2. Open Your Heart

One mistake many of us make during conversations is becoming defensive when we feel our personality or motives are coming into question. However, when your heart is open, it’s much easier to understand the feeling your partner is trying to communicate, rather than falling into the trap of seeing their emotions as a personal attack.

It may even help to practice heart-opening techniques with your partner, like meditations or mantras, either regularly or when you feel a confrontation is heading to a dark place.

Even if it feels odd or silly at first, these practices can create a safe space between you and your partner within which you can be open, honest, and vulnerable with each other.

Read next: The Top 5 Communication Mistakes You’re Making

3. Encourage Vulnerability

Can you remember a time when you opened up and felt shut down? There’s a good chance that an experience like that might have made you feel like opening up was a bad idea or could lead to feelings of pain and frustration. This is why it’s so important to make sure that both you and your partner express appreciation and encouragement of one another’s vulnerable moments.

Further, when you learn to see that emotional vulnerability for what it is – rather than seeing it as an affront – that’s where the magic really begins. It’s a gift when someone else is willing to let you into their heart, and it’s important to treat it as such.

4. Be Willing to Have the Conversation

Sometimes the desire to avoid conflict or hurt feelings leads to the avoidance of conversations that need to be had. Your willingness to have potentially unpleasant conversations is crucial for healing and deepening your bond.

With an open heart and coming from a place of love, even conflict can feel healing in the moment.

5. Maintain a Physical Connection

During heated conversations, your instinct may be to avoid touching your partner, especially when you’re upset. But maintaining a sense of physical connection can actually bring you closer during moments of frustration.

Try a small pat on the shoulder or even a hug. These simple touches can reignite the love you feel for one another and remind you both that your bond is more important than this one tense moment.

With respect and consent, try to keep that sense of physical closeness alive while communicating with the one you love.

Conflict Is Not a Deal Breaker

Even if you happen to be a master in the art of communication, you may still find that you and your partner experience moments of conflict, perhaps fighting about things that seem inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

But remember, arguments can’t be avoided entirely, even with the best of intentions.

We are all people, and we are all flawed, after all – and sometimes we have big feelings that result in heated moments. This is certainly not a deal-breaker in a relationship – unless one or both of you are unwilling to try to change your communication habits for the better.

Don’t feel like you need to throw in the towel after a week or two of bickering. Instead, try to explore those moments to find out where they come from and how to handle them.

Communicate With Love

With these tips and tricks in mind, go forth and communicate with love. Center your heart in the love you feel for your partner and do your best to try to understand where they’re coming from.

If you make an effort to be more open and receptive during conversations, you might see your partner naturally doing the same.

What is it you want to tell your partner?

Related article: How to Respond Instead of React in Communication