This is How You Know Your Relationship is Over
“Is my relationship over?”
Is this a question you’re asking yourself lately? If it is, it’s probably a question you don’t take lightly. And the truth is that you aren’t alone.
With COVID, we’ve been isolated from our friends and family for longer than normal. We’ve seen them less frequently. And many of us have relied on our S.O. for support during this turbulent time.
Yet, one person can never be everything. This is why we have other support in the form of friends and family.
At the same time, maybe the relationship has run its course. A relationship ending isn’t necessarily a bad thing, even though it might feel pretty bad right now. In fact, a relationship ending can lead to greater opportunities and happiness.
This is why you’ll often hear some people say that they wish they had ended past relationships sooner.
But how do you know when a relationship is truly over? When should you throw in the towel? What are some tell-tale signs?
10 Signs Your Relationship is Over
Yes, relationships have rough patches. This is normal.
And yes, each relationship is unique. This is why you should use the signs below as a mere guide. Relationships aren’t black and white. Nor should they be! Human connection is complex, and every situation poses different scenarios.
Yet, if the signs below are starting to add up, you might be better to part ways. It is one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes, it is necessary for both you and your partner’s happiness to move on.
So, what are the signs?
1. You’ve Both Tried to Find Solutions to Your Problems
This isn’t usually something that happens suddenly. Maybe you’ve been working on your issues for months or even years.
You’ve probably had countless heart-to-heart conversations. You’ve likely pulled all the stops, but at the end of the day, maybe you’re just two different people. And that’s okay! Or perhaps neither of you is willing to compromise anymore. You’ve met a dead-end.
And maybe you’ve even sought out counseling. Nothing has worked.
At the same time, you might be struggling to accept that your relationship is over. This is the hardest part. Yet, the sooner you start accepting that it’s not meant to be (and yes, that is so hard!), the sooner you can find someone that you’re better suited for and happier with.
2. You Justify Staying Due to External Factors
How do you know when a relationship is over? You’re not staying because you love and respect the other person. You’re staying because of financial pressures or because of the kids or because you’re scared to date again (especially during COVID, I get that).
A better way to think about this is to analyze if you would stay in an ideal world.
Would you stay if you had somewhere to go or if you didn’t have to move all your stuff? Would you stay if you had all the money in the world? If not, it’s time to cut your losses and begin finding solutions and actions that will help you move on.
Read this article next: 6 Boundaries Crucial for Relationships in 2021
3. You Feel You’re a Different Person Compared to What Your Partner Thinks of You
They look at you and might say things like, “I don’t know who you are anymore!”
If this sounds all too familiar, it’s time to start considering if maybe you are just two different people now. Perhaps you just aren’t compatible. Or if resentment and miscommunications have added up to the point that you can’t go back or start over, it’s time to start planning the future separately.
This might also fall under other more obvious signs a relationship is over, such as a lack of trust. If you don’t trust or understand each other, the foundations of the relationship are crumbling.
4. You Focus on Their Bad Features & Characteristics
It doesn’t do anyone any good to stay in a relationship where you constantly think bad thoughts about the other person. In healthy and loving relationships, we often can overlook and accept these flaws or find healthy ways to help our loved ones work through them.
If your relationship has gotten to the point where you are constantly on each other about your weaknesses and critique, it might be a sign that you both just aren’t interested in the good bits any longer.
5. You’ve Stopped Picturing a Future With Them
Maybe you used to imagine a bright and happy future together. Now, you’ve lost hope. You don’t wish for a future together. In fact, the imagination of your future might not even include them.
6. You Don’t Have the Same Goals
If you want kids and they don’t, it’s not going to work out. If they want to travel the world but you’re more a homebody with other goals, this might not work out.
Assess each others’ goals. What do you each want to get out of life? What are you actually imagining your future will be like? If they don’t align and you aren’t willing to compromise, either way, it’s time to end things.
7. You Feel Like You Can’t Be Yourself Around Them
Feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Do you constantly feel you’re wondering if you said something wrong?
You deserve the freedom to be yourself in all your glory. If it’s not this person, someone else will. I guarantee it. There are 7 billion people in the world. There’s going to be someone that clicks better with you.
You might also want to check out: How to Recognize & Shut Down Gaslighting in Relationships
8. You Don’t Have Sex Anymore
No sex doesn’t necessarily mean the end. But it can be a major sign, especially if it comes along with a bunch of these other points.
A sexless relationship can happen for various reasons, such as big life changes or health issues. If this is the only sign, I want you to know that it is fixable. This all comes down to being open with your partner and having that discussion - ensuring you aren’t simply throwing your feelings at each other.
Rather, attack the problem - not the person!
9. Those Close to You Comment on How Unhappy You Appear
Are you happy in this relationship? Be brutally honest. It can be really upsetting. That’s okay.
But if you aren’t happy, it really might not be worth it. And if those closest to you are noticing, it’s something you might want to explore more with yourself and them.
10. You’re Wondering if You Could Maybe “Do Better”
This is another sign that you and your partner aren’t appreciating one another anymore. Again, this sign by itself can be fixed. You can change your train of thought here.
However, if this is a constant thought and you’ve begun to notice your eyes looking elsewhere, it might be best to cut ties before anything goes further.
If You’re Asking “Is My Relationship Over?” You Might Already Know the Answer
Questioning your relationship from time to time is 100% normal. But if it’s a constant thought, you may want to really consider making a firm decision as to whether or not this relationship is serving you or your life and dreams.
Signs a relationship is over vary from couple to couple. Ultimately, it’s up to you as to what you want to do. You’re always in the driver’s seat when it comes to controlling your life.
And remember, a relationship ending doesn’t always mean the worst. Sometimes, it can lead us right toward where we are meant to be (and bigger and better things!).
Related article: 5 Reasons Why Your Long-Term Relationship Needs Some Long Distance