5 Not-So-Fun Things About Being Fiercely Independent & What to Do About It

Are you self-reliant in every way? Does this trait of yours make you swell with pride?

Maybe your social circle and family even applaud you for this, and it seems perfectly normal per your conditioning. We live in a society where being clingy or needy is frowned upon. So, the opposite, which is being independent, is certainly a desirable trait.

But have you ever wondered if your overly independent streak is perhaps harming you?

Scroll down to learn a new perspective on being overly independent.

5 Not-So-Fun Things About Being Overly Independent

1. You Have a Fear of Intimacy

For most, letting people in and trusting others is a herculean feat. And for a good reason.

Keeping others at bay is an inherent way for people to protect themselves against emotional hurt. To a certain extent, enforcing basic boundaries and exercising discretion in letting people in is good.

Yet, it’s important to consider if over independence streak is due to too rigid boundaries and fear of intimacy.

Read this next: Did you know? Your Heart chakra energy is what dictates your ability to be emotionally intimate within your relationships. Here are 3 ways to open your Heart chakra and overcome the fear of intimacy.

2. You Have an “I Don’t Need Help” Mindset

Are you someone who wants to do EVERYTHING independently, no matter how overwhelming the task may seem? You have a can-do mindset which is great, but if it prevents you from asking for help, maybe it’s time to look closer at what’s going on.

Here are a few journaling prompts to help you dig deeper into this inner dialog of yours.

• Do I consider seeking help as a weakness? If so, why?
• What is the worst that will happen if I seek help?
• Do I give importance to how others perceive me – Am I trying to show a confident, “I have it covered” front that does not allow me to ask for help?

3. Your Career is Your Life

Being ambitious and having a driven go-getter attitude is an amazing quality to own. But are you obsessed with your career to the point that it takes precedence over a social life, family, relationships?

Does spending time with friends seem like a daunting task?

Perhaps it’s a good time to ponder over the question: Have you immersed yourself in your career because of fear of relationships?

Sitting with oneself and practicing radical honesty is challenging but can often result in healing and releasing limiting self-beliefs that might be preventing you from becoming the best version of yourself.

4. You Have Trouble Communicating Feelings

If you have been overtly independent all your life and thoroughly enjoy your own company, it might feel uncomfortable to voice your feelings.

Sometimes, it does become necessary to communicate your emotions. No amount of journaling can replace human connection and the feeling of being heard.

If you find yourself struggling with what to say or speak your emotions, perhaps taking baby steps and opening up to a trusted friend is a good place to start.

This next article can shed light on how to better communicate with your partner.

5. Deep Soulful Conversations Are Scary

Superficial conversations or small talk can seem like an easy way at social gatherings. But if you catch yourself never able to deepen a conversation with anyone, even with trusted friends, perhaps it is time to wonder if it is because you find diving deep uncomfortable. Do you feel like it asks you to sit with your vulnerability?

This could be a side manifestation of being overly independent.

Did you know that our childhood is where such behavior stems and where we are programmed to hold certain beliefs about our social interactions?

Perhaps it’s time for you to go down memory lane for some shadow work and find out if releasing childhood beliefs can liberate you from the harms of being too independent.

Find the Balance

As with everything in life, finding balance is crucial. Clingy, needy is not desirable, but neither is over independence. It could make you come across as cold and emotionally unavailable.

If you are excessively self-reliant, and this trait is creating problems in your relationships and social life, question your beliefs. Looking deeper is the way to go.

Related article: Learn what your attachment style is in relationships.