Stop Blaming and Start Claiming Your Life

"It's not my fault!"

"The world is against me."

Sound familiar? It might be time for you to stop blaming everything and everyone else for what goes wrong in your life - and start to claim responsibility for your role in your happiness! 

You’ve probably heard that your mindset matters - and it matters more than you think. The right mindset could be the difference between you reaching your goals and you, well, not. In fact, it could be standing in the way of what you’ve always wanted to get out of life.

Let me explain this one in more detail.

I used to blame the world for my problems. Talk about a lack of personal growth and development! For the longest time, I walked around thinking everyone else had a problem. And I assumed when things went wrong, it was the world’s fault - not mine. I’d pity myself. I’d think, ‘Poor me. Why is this happening to me?’

Boy was I in the wrong mindset. I didn’t grow. I didn’t evolve. I lacked serious inspiration and motivation. I was angry and sad a lot. I would get defensive about the way I did things. And I didn’t realize I was doing this all to myself. I was stuck in a victim mindset.

How Can You Stop Playing the Blame Game?

Yes, some things in life are out of your control, but so many things are completely within your capacity to influence! A person with a negative mindset doesn’t realize this. Yet, when you do acknowledge your behavior and become aware of it, things get a heck of a lot better.

So, what does this mindset look like?

• Blames other people for their problems
• Complains constantly
• Fears failure and making a mistake
• Doesn’t like commitment
• Believes in making shortcuts to get to quick outcomes
• Makes excuses for their behavior constantly
• Lacks self-confidence

Sound familiar? Don’t worry - you can flip your mindset. 

Here’s the thing: When you play the blame game, you are giving up your power. You are handing over control of your life. Essentially, you're letting the wind blow you wherever it’ll take you. But that won’t get you what you want in this life.

And being a chronic blamer won’t drive personal growth and development. It won’t offer up much inspiration and motivation. It’s not part of a well-rounded and balanced wellness lifestyle. In fact, you’ll probably end up miserable if you keep going. 

Now…here’s the other thing: It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to get mad. We’re all human. When something bad happens in your life, it’s okay to sit and mope for a second or two. It helps you to process it. It helps you move on. But at some point, you have to take hold of the reins, climb back up on the horse, and canter forward. This is the mentality of someone who claims what happens in their life.

How do you get there? Become aware of it! Assess yourself.

Do you jump on the defense when you’re met with critique? Do you blame others for things that you could change?

People who claim responsibility in their lives go after what they want. When you’re a claimer, you don’t let any situation get the best of you. You don’t dig for excuses. You push forward. You focus on you. You ask questions like, ‘What can I do to fix this? What actions can I take to get to where I want to be?’

A claimer takes critique and applies it. After all, none of us are perfect. Unlike a blamer - who just wants to be left alone, a claimer welcomes people in and likes to be pushed to be better.

But, where do you start?

Step 1: Awareness

Recognize when you portray blaming behavior. Stop yourself. Reassess. What can you do differently? What actually is in your control? Claim responsibility for what you can change and let go of what you can't.

Step 2: Look for the positives

There is always a silver lining. You’ve just got to find it. And if you can’t, count your blessings. What are you grateful for? Find 5 things right now.

Step 3: Know that someone is always in a far worse situation than you

Life is tough. But someone’s life is always more tough. It’s a game you can’t win. And guess what? Most of us have it pretty good - even when we think we don’t. Again, look at the positives. And know it could be worse. 

Step 4: Know you have a choice

You are in control. This is your life - not anyone else’s. How can you take your power back? How can you be better than this?

Step 5: Spend less time feeling sorry for yourself

Instead, look at how you can make the most of a possibly bad situation.

Again, life hands out bad cards. But the more time you spend feeling sorry for yourself, the less action you’re likely to take. Take action. Claim your power. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It doesn’t help you or anyone else.

Start Focusing on You

Don’t focus on others. That only leads to the blame game and it won’t fuel personal growth and development. In fact, it’ll stunt it.

In other words, turn inward. How can you improve yourself? What can you do to make your life or your situation better? I bet there’s a ton.

Find that inspiration and motivation. Dig deep. It’s in there. Meditate daily - it could change your life! Or do a social media detox. This could actually help you figure out what you truly want in life. Bonus: It could also seriously strengthen your relationships and connections with other people.

You are not a blamer. You are a claimer! Start seeing yourself this way and soon, you’ll get that life you’ve always wanted.

Related article: How to Notice and Quiet Your Inner Pessimist