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5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (On & Off the Internet)

Comparing ourselves to others is something most of us are guilty of to some degree or another. Whether it’s comparing ourselves to someone we know, or to a photo in a magazine, or to a picture on the internet, the danger of this is that it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth.

This is especially prevalent in the digital age. Every single day, we are bombarded with images online of people that seem flawless.

Remember, We All Have Flaws

We are bombarded with advertisements about how we can look like these images ourselves; and the more we wistfully compare ourselves to others, the more we focus on our own flaws and everything that is wrong with ourselves (or what we perceive to be wrong).

Comparing ourselves with other people points to some form of insecurity or envy that exists within us. “That person has something I don’t” is the mantra that lies at the root of it. The best way to deal with this is to ask yourself, just because they have something I don’t, does that make me any less worthy?

The answer is, of course, no – but that’s not what we tell ourselves sometimes! Insecurity is a powerful thing.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Stepping outside ourselves and recognizing it for what it is can be very difficult indeed. So below are five ways you can stop comparing yourself to others (both online and off!)

1. Focus on your positive attributes

Yes, that co-worker is successful. Yes, that model online has a nice body. Yes, that friend has nice eyes. But what about you? How do you know there isn’t someone out there thinking to themselves, “I wish I have what they have!”

Embracing your own positive qualities is the best way to stop focusing too much on the positive attributes of others. It is simply the truth that we were all blessed with our own unique qualities. Your creative talent, your kindness, your intelligence, your body, your face – learn to love them. Become your own best friend.

Compare yourself to no one but yourself.

2. Be realistic

It may dampen your spirits if you’re browsing online and you come across an image of someone with a seemingly perfect body.

When it comes to images online, they can be misleading. How do you know the image hasn’t been photoshopped? How do you know the specific pose or lighting hasn’t created the ‘perfect’ shot? The problem with online imagery is that it can very often trigger unrealistic expectations we start to have of ourselves, because the imagery itself may be computer-generated!

3. Be mindful of other people’s insecurities

You may compare yourself to a friend, colleague, co-worker, someone online – but no one is free from insecurities. No one. Everyone has their hang-ups, no matter what impression they give to others. Just remind yourself next time you find yourself comparing your perceived flaws with others’ ‘perfection’ that they, too, have things about themselves that make them feel insecure.

Reaching the point of full self-acceptance is a very long and difficult process, and many are still not there yet. When you become mindful of others’ insecurities, it triggers your sense of empathy and makes you realize that, actually, they are only human just like you are.

4. Try not to knock others down

Insecurity can lead us to lash out at others. It’s what drives us to make snide or bitchy comments to other people when we feel inferior to them in some way. This is not only harmful to others, but it is harmful to ourselves, too.

We make enemies when we could be making friends; more than this, we just end up feeding our feelings of insecurity, even more, strengthening it and contributing to our own lack of self-worth. If we can support others in their success, we will automatically climb the ladder of success ourselves.

5. Be pro-active in strengthening your self-worth

To build your self-esteem, there needs to be a conscious effort to do so. If you want to stop comparing yourselves with others, then it is important to take steps to love yourself to such a degree that the thought of comparing yourself with anyone ever again would never even enter your head!

Building your self-esteem can include repeating positive affirmations to yourself, keeping a gratitude journal to remind yourself of all the things you love about yourself every day and how grateful you are for everyone and everything in your life, exercising and eating well to maintain a healthy mind and body, and concentrating on your own talents that make you unique and special.

By doing this, you can build yourself into a happy, whole and confident person who no longer feels a need to compare themselves to anyone.

Read next: Stick To It: The Benefits of Positive Self-Affirmation

Conclusion…

Comparisons with others, both online and off, can be a difficult thing to control; but when you realize the root of it all lies within you and that this root is due to insecurity, you also realize that the only one who can tackle your insecurities is you. Acknowledging that you have the power to do so is the first step towards becoming happy within yourself.

Continue reading with How to Feel Sexy All The Time: It Comes From Within

Sarah Brownlee

Sarah Brownlee

Having worked as a teacher, a bartender, and even a private investigator, writing was something Sarah Brownlee just fell into, even though it had been her passion since she was a little girl. To date, she has written and published 3 Children and Young Adult fiction novels, ghostwritten for others, and... Read More

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