The Fine Line: Confidence Without Arrogance
We all know that person. You have either come across them in your life or perhaps they are a friend of a friend. They have to one-up you on everything. They are better at everything. You tell a story, but wait - they have a better one.
The cynical thought of, “ugh, they are so arrogant,” has probably crossed your mind. Hey, it’s okay. Just shake it off. Or if it really starts to irk you, have that conversation. Explain your feelings. Maybe they don’t know that they are causing harm.
Maybe you’ve accidentally been that person (oops).
It’s okay - you can do a 180. Personal growth and learning is constant. Becoming self-aware is step 1 toward a better you. Plus, there are ways you can be your happy-go-lucky confident self, minus the arrogance.
Drop the ego for a second. Practice modesty. Be humble. Consider yourself equally as important as the person beside you, because the truth is none of us are better than the next.
Sure, we all have unique traits and talents we bring to the table. But hold up - that doesn’t make us better. True and real confidence doesn’t come down to bragging rights. It comes from within. It’s being self-assured in your own talents and your own abilities.
Real confidence is quiet. It doesn’t pounce and boast about its self-importance. In reality, confidence is about being comfortable in your own skin and not needing the approval of others to feel that way.
So, how can you find your inner confidence? How can you put your best foot forward without coming off as arrogant?
Don’t Fake It
Arrogance is an attempt to hide your insecurities. You are putting on a mask - a show even, that doesn’t display anything close to your true self. You’ve seen people fake it. Again, maybe you’ve even tried to fake it yourself. The old saying, ‘fake it till you make it,’ echoes loudly. Yet… it’s not entirely true when it comes to confidence.
When people fake it, they tend to overdo it. You try to be confident by talking over others, cutting people off mid-conversation or steamrolling the entire conversation into one all about you.
Real, genuine confidence comes naturally. You shouldn’t push a point, because your ego might take a hit. A confident person admits their mistakes. They are willing to see a different perspective. They know that their confidence has nothing to do with being wrong or right.
If confidence doesn’t come naturally to you, there are ways you can build it. Forbes claims that confidence is made from feelings of accomplishment. Find something that does this for you. The best way to do this is to start setting goals and hitting them. Start your list today and take the steps toward your goals. Reclaim your inner confidence!
Harness Your Fear in a Good Way
Everyone feels fear, even the insanely rich and successful. The higher you climb, the bigger the fall. However, fear doesn’t have to take you down. And you don’t need to build walls to hide behind, such as over-the-top arrogance.
It’s okay to be vulnerable. You are allowed to take risks. Trust in yourself! If the people you know don’t like the real you, you’ll easily find people that do. There are over 7 billion people in the world. Chances are, you’ll find your tribe. Plus, owning up to the real you and finding that confidence will inevitably lead to a happier life. Don’t live a lie.
You Aren’t & Don’t Have to Be the Best
I am a competitive person by nature. I love it. I love how it feels. And mostly I do it because it’s fun. A little friendly banter adds something to the game. Yet, I draw the line at losing. If I lose, I don’t get upset. Why? Because it’s a game. It’s supposed to be fun. And like life, you can’t win every time. You win some, you lose some. You are good at some things and struggle with other things.
You don’t have to be the best at everything. Don’t be that person who isn’t running the show but has to control it and do it their way, because they “know best.” You’re already losing. No one wants to be on the “my way or the highway” team.
Instead, acknowledge other people’s strengths. There are 7 billion people in the world - someone will always be better or more naturally talented at something than you. However, your value and talent still stands. Your confidence shines through when you aren’t comparing yourselves to others.
Confident people harness others’ strengths. They recognize them. They also know it isn’t any sort of insult to their own abilities. Remember, personal growth and learning is constant. If someone is better at something, learn from them. Ask them to show you how they do it. Grow from the experience.
Care Less About Others’ Opinions
Today, we have so many ways to compare ourselves to others. We scroll through Instagram or Facebook, wishing we had that cute outfit or that perfect body. We long for acceptance and approval. We care so much about what others’ think. I know friends that get upset when their Instagram picture doesn’t rake in the likes.
We are completely missing the point. Many people think confidence and happiness comes from others’ approval. It doesn’t. It comes from within. Learn to be self-assured. Take advice, but listen to your inner voice. You know best what makes you happy - not someone else.
Follow your heart more. Your best friend says that your trip to Spain sounds silly and over-the-top and why don’t you go somewhere more culturally diverse? But, you’ve always wanted to go to Spain (also, Spain can definitely be a cultural experience). So, go!
Chances are they are harbouring some serious jealousy. Stand firm in your choice and reasoning, especially if it’s what you want. Care a little less. Go after what makes you happy. And keep in mind that what makes you happy might not make someone else happy. It’s entirely okay. We are all different, which is part of the beauty in this world.
Life is short. In a blink, it tends to pass us by. Don’t waste yours. Fill your life with authenticity, happiness, and love. Constantly strive for personal growth and learning. Make it a main pillar in your life. You aren’t growing if you aren’t learning. Don’t get stuck in the mud.
Push forward and find your confidence. Learn to keep your ego in check. Let the real you shine through and get the most out of your life.