3 Easy Ways to Be Okay With Being Disliked
Did you ever catch yourself saying – “Why do people not like me?”
For many, not being liked is a god-awful feeling to sit with. And for a good reason!
The need to be liked is what allows us to gain societal acceptance. As social creatures, we are wired to seek connection and a place within society. Despite how hardwired we are to seek acceptance, the struggle to be liked is real for many people. But here’s the thing, not everyone will like you!
And it is totally okay.
If you are struggling to fit in, scroll down to learn three ways to help you have the courage to be disliked.
But first, let’s explore the value of being disliked.
The Value of Not Being Liked
“It is better to be hated for what you are than liked for what you are not!” – Andre Gide.
There is value in standing your ground and being disliked for showing up as your authentic self, even if it doesn’t appear that way at that moment.
Let us take a closer look at this value addition.
1. It Allows You to Honor Your Thoughts & Emotions
When you have the courage to be disliked, it allows you to become closer to your own thoughts and emotions.
You do not have to pretend to like someone when you really don’t. There is no suppression of emotions. You can be yourself, and the connection you share with others becomes more real than ever before.
2. It is a Step Forward to True Authenticity
By not being yourself, you are doing you and everyone around you a great disservice. Authenticity really is about showing up as your true self irrespective of external circumstances.
It is what your soul seeks.
3. It Helps With Effective Time Management
People-pleasing and trying to fit in is a serious amount of work! Don’t you think?
Write down a list of all the things you can do when you spend thinking about fitting-into a particular social group. Better even, take a look at all the pending tasks that never made it to your to-do list. Now go chase down that list and make note if your mood shifts from stressed out to happy.
Choose “happy” today and every day.
Having the courage to be disliked actually can help you with managing your time better.
4. It Prepares You to Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
We are wired to seek comfort, for it keeps us in familiar, safe territory. If safety is what our mind constantly seeks, the discomfort that comes with not being liked will obviously seem like an uphill task.
Which do you choose today –
Being disliked and personal growth (or) being fake-liked and mental stress?
Make sure to read: Why is Self-Advocacy So Important?
5. It Makes Way for Your True “People”
How do you know for sure? Here are some good questions to help clear the blur:
- Are you trying to put up a performance just to fit in?
- Do conversations seem to flow, or not?
Having the courage to be disliked is exactly what you need to clear out people who don’t align with your current vibe. Existing social circles will crumble as you grow and evolve. Understand that this is a necessary step for newer, true, and more authentic people to enter your life.
How to Have the Courage to Be Disliked
1. Ask Yourself Deeper Questions
Why should I care so much about what other people think of me?
What am I doing to fit in? And be liked by everyone?
Am I being authentically myself?
When in my childhood did I first tell myself that being liked by everyone is important?
These questions will help you go within & understand your social dynamics better. This allows you to get a better grip over your style of connecting with others and provides room for self-growth.
2. Learn to Validate Yourself
Validating yourself from within helps you internally be aware of your self-worth.
Your self-esteem gets a big boost, and you will be less likely to be affected by rejection/being disliked. Maybe you are asking – “How can I be self-assured/confident?” Identifying what piques your curiosity and spending time on these activities is a great place to start.
It’s quite simple, really. Do what feels good to you.
Read 3 Easy Ways to Improve Your Self-Worth to learn more about how not to rely on external validation.
3. Assess the Worst-Case Scenario of Rejection
Okay, so you visualized a picture where your social circle ridiculed you. Obviously, it’s not fun. “What if I lose these friends?!” is the subconscious thought that makes you adapt and try harder to fit in.
What’s the emotion associated with this subconscious thought? Full points if you said fear!
Fear of isolation is closely linked to survival itself. It’s a primal fear deeply ingrained in our psyche. We will do everything in our capacity to avoid separation from society and our tribe.
However, we have the ability to step out of this primal fear-based “Let’s make ourselves likable at all costs.” Objectively looking at rejection in this way will better equip you to have the courage to be disliked.
You Got This!
Not being liked can be a haunting feeling. At first, it can even feel like we are being rejected and isolated. But we’re here to tell you that this feeling is temporary.
It doesn’t last.
Having the courage to be disliked reveals your strength, it shows progress and builds resilience.
At the end of the day, all that matters is – you do you and be you. You Got this!
Related article: Why You Need to Build Resilience