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How to Bring Energy Back Into Your Long-Term Relationship

Movies make a long-term relationship look easy.

It usually goes something like this: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. They might have a small hurdle to overcome, but in the end, they walk off into the sunset, holding hands and destined for the perfect happily-ever-after.

In real life, this isn’t usually how it goes down.

The honeymoon phase ends. You love each other, but… a long-term relationship takes work!

Yet, at the same time, a long-term relationship brings about a deeper connection that is simply unmatched to any short-term romance or fling. If you’re in one, you know exactly what I’m talking about here.

But then, a long-term relationship can get a little stagnant too. The same old sex. The same old routines. That air of mystery is gone.

So, how can you keep the romance alive? What can you do to avoid ending a long-term relationship and bring excitement back into your relationship? In this article, we’ve got all the tips you need. Let’s add that spark back!

Remember, it takes work, but if you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ll agree, it’s well worth it.

Bring Energy Back Into Your Relationship: Here’s How!

It’s tough to find the right long-term relationship advice.

If you’ve ever cruised through the relationship Reddit threads, you’ll notice that most people’s reaction is to dump him or her. While appropriate in some situations, this doesn’t exactly fit the bill for each scenario.

And it doesn’t exactly fall in line with the idea that some relationships are 100% worth fighting for.

How can you fight for yours? Here are a few tips.

1. Get Adventurous!

And I don’t just mean in the great outdoors.

Sex is a huge part of a relationship. It brings you closer together. It creates physical intimacy. Yet, after many bedroom romps together, sex can become very much “the same.” It’s less exciting. You know what to expect.

So, let’s throw a wrench in this same-same thang. What are some sex ideas for a long-term relationship?

  • Watch pornography together - Okay, I know. Taboo. And we aren’t here to support any kind of unhealthy addiction. But if you both watch it separately, why not watch it together? See where it takes you (with consent, of course). It might just make things a little more exciting.
  • Try having sex at a different time of the day - Do you always do it in the mornings or right before bed? Switch it up! If you’re both home working, what are you doing on your lunch hour? I’m just throwing it out there.
  • Dress up and play - Ditch the sweats and PJs. Order some sexy lingerie or a few toys. There’s nothing wrong with a few additions in the bedroom!
  • Schedule it - If you don’t have it, it’s time to make a plan to have it. Put it on the calendar (I’m serious). When it’s on there, it’s more likely to happen.
  • Write up a sex menu - This is 100% a great foreplay go-to. Each partner writes down three sexual acts that they want the other partner to do. Then you reveal them to each other and choose four out of the six to do. It’s exciting, isn’t it?

2. Try a New Hobby Together

This can be such a great bonding moment for both of you.

It also may force you to work together as a team (depending on what hobby or activity you choose!). Sometimes, when it comes down to avoid ending a long-term relationship, it’s all about reconnecting and remembering why you fell in love with each other in the first place.

Here are a few ideas for this:

  • Go sky-diving
  • Try mountain biking
  • Take a cooking class
  • Join a sports league together
  • Try a painting or sculpture class

Make sure to check out: Tackle Boredom With These Soul-Satisfying Hobbies

3. Spend Time Alone

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. When you’re always together, it’s easy to feel familiar and bored with one another. It happens!

But when you give each other space and spend time apart, you might miss each other. And missing each other is such a good feeling in a long-term relationship. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack (for real).

It can also allow you to just be you without their energy there. If you’re in a long-term relationship and you live together, you might know what I mean. You love them, but you would also love to see less of them.

Give each other that. Talk about it.

It’s okay to need alone time and to want to miss the other person. You each still need your own lives and to feel like individuals. No one is happy when you lose yourself in a relationship (been there, done that!).

4. Plan a Regular Date Night

When you’ve been together for years, dates naturally get neglected. You don’t plan as much together. You just kind of end up together because you live together. Maybe you mindlessly end up watching television.

Sound familiar? (Same!)

Planning date nights adds that bit of effort you each have to put into this relationship. Take turns here planning nights out. Get dressed up. Reignite that spark that you had initially and put your relationship on display with a dinner date or any other kind of date.

Read this article next: How to Create Balance in Your Relationships

5. Communicate!

A lack of communication is a major relationship killer. You stop understanding each other. You assume the other person should know you well enough to know what you’re thinking. I’ve been there.

And the truth is they won’t know what you’re thinking unless you tell them.

Having an open and honest line of communication is so important! It prevents assumptions from escalating and can really help you both understand each other on a deeper level.

If you’re hunting for ways to improve your communication in your long-term relationship, try this:

  • Ask open-ended questions to better understand.
  • Are you assuming? Again, ask questions.
  • Communicate your feelings by saying “I feel” rather than accusing.
  • Pay attention to non-verbal cues.
  • Set aside time to talk about an issue. Don’t bring it up on the fly.
  • Remember to actively listen! This doesn’t mean thinking about the next thing you’re going to say. It means listening and truly understanding what the other person is saying.

Work On It!

Sometimes, it really is time to call it quits. But if you haven’t put in the effort, you might run that cycle again and again. For the sake of your sanity and to have a long-term relationship that lasts a lifetime, it’s time to put in the work.

I’m not saying it will be easy. But it may just be 110% worth it.

Related article: 5 Reasons Why Your Long-Term Relationship Needs Some Long Distance

Krista Bugden

Krista Bugden

"Believing in yourself is really half the battle," says Krista. Anything is possible and you really can achieve anything you set your mind to, is her motto. Physiotherapist, Piano player, skydiver, yogi, adventure traveler and energetic force of positivity, Krista is herself a (delightful) force to be reckoned with! As... Read More

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