Improve Your Relationships With the Myers-Briggs Personality Test
The happy-go-lucky couple you see on Instagram or Facebook only show one side of their seemingly perfect life. In reality, who knows exactly what goes on behind closed doors?
The truth is that most relationships aren’t perfect - far from it.
We are all human. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. And we all handle situations differently.
It isn’t a bad thing.
Yet, we have all been there. You say something. The other person takes it the wrong way. It turns into a big misunderstanding. It might be no one’s fault. In fact, you may just have different personality traits.
We know compatibility is huge when it comes to relationships. Sometimes, it is best to go your separate ways - you may not be compatible. Again, it isn’t anyone’s fault. These things happen.
Here is the good news: You can improve on these miscommunications. You can become more self-aware. How? Start by understanding yourself and your own personality traits. Take the Myers-Briggs Personality Test.
What is the Myers-Briggs Personality Test?
The Myers-Briggs Test is a questionnaire-style quiz. It offers insight into your individual way of thinking, feeling, behaving, and communicating. It can help you get to know yourself better, and help you address where you keep going wrong. Maybe you didn’t realize you come off as judgemental, or perhaps you assumed the other person knew how you felt.
Essentially, the test shows that people rarely act in random ways, but have preferences in their perception and judgement. While you can pay to take the test, you can also find it free online here (it only takes about 10 minutes).
Once you have completed the test, you are categorized into 1 of 16 personality types. Take it at the same time as a friend or your partner and then compare. You may start to appreciate each other more. It may even create a deeper connection as you come to understand how each other tick.
So, What Are the 16 Personality Types? What Can You Do to Improve Your Relationships?
Each personality has 4 different dichotomies. The first is based on general attitude - you are either more of an introvert (I) or more of an extrovert (E). The second is your perception, sensing (S) versus intuition (N). The third and fourth are based on judgment, thinking (T) versus feeling (F), and judging (J) versus perceiving (P).
ISTJ: The Inspector
This personality is reserved and quiet, but logical, and an expert analyst. They base their opinions on hard-solid facts. They are organized, intelligent, calm, and often well-respected. They also like to follow tradition and are well-known for their planning skills.
If you fall under this personality type, you likely have trouble picking up on the emotional needs of others. You like things to follow a specific plan. You may also come off as cold when you approach situations from a logical standpoint.
In relationships, this can pose some problems.
Try to become more aware of others’ emotions by asking questions. Know that just because something is logical, doesn’t mean it has to be that way. Humans are complex creatures. Our emotions do come into play - consider this. Further, be spontaneous once in a while! Or let your heart guide the way. Dig into your feelings a little more and learn to express them.
INFG: The Counselor
The INFG personality type is very intuitive and cares deeply about others. They also avoid social events where they may be forced to mingle or open up. However, they are very in-tune to others’ emotions and feelings and avoid hurting others, instead offering compassion and empathy.
If you fall under this personality type, you may have trouble trusting others and opening up until you get to know them fairly well. This guarded side of you may be keeping you from creating positive connections and keeping you from new opportunities. You might be holding yourself back.
Let go of this fear - it could potentially lead you down a slippery slope involving jealousy and other negative emotions. Learn forgiveness. Understand that deep down, most people are good people. They aren’t out to hurt you.
The INFG personality is also stubborn. Again, letting in other people’s viewpoints and opinions is okay. Other perceptions and input can actually be good for you and help you grow.
INTJ: The Mastermind
The personality traits of a Mastermind personality type include logic, open-mindedness, high standards, reserved, and a love for complex theoretical ideas and concepts.
This personality type can be overly honest and blunt. If you are this personality type, you may say what you think without considering the emotions and feelings of others. You may also have difficulty expressing or saying how you feel.
While sometimes being honest and direct is the only way to get through to someone, there are other ways to approach a situation. Consider the other person’s feelings - how might they react? Find effective ways to communicate how you feel minus stepping on someone’s feelings. Learn to say and accept how you feel. Suppressing your emotions may only result in pent-up energy, which often doesn’t do anyone any good.
ENFJ: The Giver
The Giver personality type loves to be around others. They are extroverted, loyal, passionate, very intuitive, and very people-focused.
If you are this personality type, you may depend on approval too much from others. Start believing in yourself more!
You may also reflect others’ feelings onto yourself. When your partner is in a bad mood, you may confuse it with them being mad at you. Ask instead of assuming. Know you aren’t the only factor that comes into play in others’ worlds.
ISTP: The Craftsman
The Craftsman is fairly private and easy-going, but a risk-taker. They enjoy new experiences and can have a spontaneous side.
This personality type loves variability. Without it, they get bored. This can be problematic in friendships and relationships since the same old is mundane and unfulfilling. For this personality type, they need to find friends and relationships that feed their adventurous side.
Go out and join clubs or meet-ups revolving around things you enjoy. You’ll find your people and feel more satisfied with your life.
ESFJ: The Provider
This personality type is considered the social butterfly of the group. They are energetic, sensitive, well-liked, and genuine.
The Provider can actually become overly sensitive. Because they are social butterflies, they often seek approval and can become hurt when rejected by others. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to agree with your point of view. Others are allowed their opinions.
The best thing a Provider personality type can learn is that being different isn’t wrong. It’s just different. Agree to disagree. Or accept others’ differences and appreciate them for what they are. Maybe you can even learn something new from them and expand your horizons.
INFP: The Idealist
The Idealist is considerate and a great listener. They seek to understand others and are true lovers of life.
If you have this personality type, you are great at understanding both sides of a given situation. You want to avoid arguments and hurt feelings. However, you may struggle with explaining your own feelings. While understanding the other side is an important part of communication, make sure your own feelings are heard.
If you do not express yourself, you may end up feeling misunderstood and ignored. This could build, leaving you lacking in the emotional needs department.
ESFP: The Performer
This personality type enjoys being the center of attention. They love excitement and were born to entertain. Generally, they are very warm and generous people.
If you are this personality type, you love having fun and love entertaining. Like the Craftsman personality type, you may get bored with the same-old. Unfortunately, this often means you might neglect to lend a helping hand with “boring” tasks. Instead, help out with the non-exciting tasks and then reward yourself and your partner with something fun.
Another tip? Avoid taking rejection personally. Not everyone is going to be as enthusiastic and excited about your pastimes and hobbies as you are. As long as you enjoy what you’re doing, that is what matters the most.
ENFP: The Champion
The Champion is the individualistic guy or gal. Their world is full of possibility and potential. They have no trouble relating with others and love being surrounded by people.
You may feel the need to constantly be aware of your partner’s thoughts or feelings. You like to be complimented and given positive feedback. Some may consider this a bit much in a relationship. Try to find a balance. Explain to your partner what you need on an emotional level. This way you’ll avoid being hurt, misunderstood, or neglected.
Make sure to talk before it becomes a problem. When emotions build, it can get ugly fast.
ESTP: The Doer
The Doer is outgoing, fast-moving, and adventurous. They are good at determining people’s motivations and interpreting people’s attitudes. They love instant gratification and tend to live in the moment.
If you are this personality type, you may not pay much attention to the future. Sometimes, this can hit you smack in the face. Time might speed by without you noticing. You might neglect someone you care about without noticing. With close friends and relationships, make sure that you are meeting their needs. Check in. Have that discussion. It will be entirely worth it and save you myriad problems in the future.
ESTJ: The Supervisor
The Supervisor is a leader. They have personality traits including a strong will, loyalty, strategic, hard-working, organized, and responsible.
When you perceive others as lazy or not as hard working as you, you become frustrated. Know that others have their own strengths and weaknesses. We do not all have to be the same. Not everyone will want to do it your way or follow your path. Try to put yourself in your friend or partner’s shoes. Consider that they may see things from a different viewpoint.
Talk with them. Ask questions. Try to understand your friend or partner. Put your frustrations aside. It doesn’t help you or them.
ENTJ: The Commander
The Commander leads naturally, taking charge of most situations. They like to push their limits and overcome challenges.
If you are The Commander personality type, you may be too much of a perfectionist - to the point that it is controlling. You see it as a way to improve, while the other person feels attacked and judged.
Try to spin it with something positive, or start with an offer for support. Often, people don’t like being controlled and told what to do all the time. If someone doesn’t ask for your advice, they may not want it. Wait for them to ask, or ask them before proceeding.
INTP: The Thinker
The Thinker is logical. They are fairly independent, quiet, and value intelligence above all.
Thinkers spend a lot of time in their own head. If you fall under this personality type, get out of your head and consider the people around you. Take into account their problems, their worries, and their emotions. For any relationship to work, you need to meet the emotional needs of your partner, whether that is for support, discussion, or decisions.
ISFJ: The Nurturer
The Nurturer cares about others’ feelings. They are kind, dependable, grounded, and find conflict highly uncomfortable.
While the Nurturer is very aware of their own feelings, you may not know how to express them. You may lack the ability to properly communicate your own feelings with your partner or friends. In turn, you may feel disappointed and let down. While it is wonderful to understand and care about others, make sure you do the same for yourself.
ENTP: The Visionary
The Visionary is smart, a creator of ideas, knowledgeable, and innovative.
If you fall into this personality type, you may come off as arrogant or insensitive to others. Since you don’t long for others approval, you often trample on people’s feelings. Like other personality types, simply being mindful people’s feelings can go a long way.
INFJ: The Advocate
The Advocate is a rare personality type. Interestingly, only 1% of the population falls under this one. The INFJ personality has an innate sense for morality and are the type of people to take real steps toward their goals. They aim to leave a positive and lasting impression.
If you are this personality type, you find it easy to connect with others. However, you need time alone to recharge. To others, this might not come off the right way. Make sure to explain yourself and to give yourself that time. Also, try not to take attacks against your cause the wrong way - they aren’t personal and not everyone is going to share the same opinion.
Knowing your personality type and corresponding traits can provide insight into where you can improve, especially when it comes to your relationships. Check out the Myers-Briggs Test and find out what your personality is, as well as where there may be the possibility for improvements! Remember, none of us are perfect, but we can always grow and learn.