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How to Feel Sexy All The Time: It Comes From Within

We are the only creatures in nature that have developed self-hatred. We think we are so intelligent and yet the marketing schemes we have so ingeniously dreamed up have created severe self-esteem issues and it’s safe to say many unhealthy relationship power struggles.

We have looked to the external for self-love and physical attraction, only because we have been told to do so. It’s completely possible to be attracted to someone based on their goals, actions, and energy.

Those things can quite literally make someone much more appealing than washboard abs which we see promoted by the self-acclaimed ego-bashing experts that are scantily clad and revealing their butts to help enlighten us all on Instagram.

How to Feel Sexy

It all comes down to what sexy means to you. Social media has created a lot of insecurities about how we look because people are able to sculpt the view people have of them with filters and teeth whitening apps but do yourself a favor and unfollow the shallow people.

There are plenty of people sharing their real-life without trying to become famous through indirect vanity riding on the coattails of some cause they have jumped on board with. There are real people on social media that are truly trying to help others.

Support a culture of integrity and progressive ideals based on community and we will all start to be able to feel self-respecting and sexy again. Your ego doesn’t want to believe this, as if it’s too good to be true but I assure you your cultural conditioning is the only thing making you feel unattractive.

Related Article: 5 Ways To Overcome Bodyshaming (Yourself & Others)

Yellow daisies all throughout the frame.

Have You Seen An Ugly Flower?

We are conditioned to compare ourselves to each other. Well if we think we are supposed to look like Angelina Jolie, chances are we are not going to feel sexy right? Let’s let go of that idea for a second and think about nature, our animal selves, primal desires are not actually based on some marketing ideas drummed up in a boardroom.

Primal desires, pheromones, are much more organic than something that can be contrived by a magazine spread. When we are in tune with the energy of our body, our allure increases exponentially.

But what in the world is our natural energy and how do we get in tune with it? First, we need to stop trying to fit in and stop trying to be something that fits an ideal. Next, we need to decondition ourselves from thinking we aren’t beautiful.

A wolf doesn’t wake up thinking, man I need to get a haircut, they are just going to attract what they attract and it’s not about toenail polish or a little black dress, it’s about instincts. Every animal and flower in nature is shaped entirely differently and we never see them and say wow how ugly. We are in awe.

Have You Seen An Ugly Tree?

The way a tree grows depends on its species. We as humans have many different types. Some of us have thin trunks and some of us have thick trunks. All trees are beautiful in their own right with different colored bark, barren of leaves or full of lush green foliage.

How are we any different than nature? The word sexy can be a confusing one. We have only been given the illusion that we should dislike our natural selves in order for many companies to thrive and sell us items to make up for these contrived shortcomings. There are trees that weigh only a few pounds and trees that weigh tons but do we love one more or less? Not at all.

The idea that short men are somehow less appealing or that women without breasts are somehow flawed is complete industrial brainwashing. We are appealing only when we accept ourselves and love the uniqueness that we possess.

True attraction comes when we accept our true self which is not even our physical selves. True appeal, which defies all societal stories told to us by the admittedly surface focused media, comes from having a relentless and deep commitment and surrender to our spiritual self which is connected to everything, mysterious and unapologetically loving.

Colorful trees above a valley. There is a lake and a road driving through the yellowing green trees, it is fall.

Why Don’t We Feel Pretty? As Within So Without

The way we think about ourselves which has been drilled into us from school, media, family, and friends has created our identities. Well, it’s time for an identity that is guided only by our soul which will be measured not by a tan or elongated leg muscles but by our intention and our commitment to the whole.

We don’t feel pretty because our thoughts have created habitual patterns of thinking that we have come to accept. When we start to accept that we are beautiful, those layers of deception fall away revealing a perfectly natural beauty that is stronger than any allure we could create by manipulating ourselves.

If we aren’t being self-respecting in our thoughts, the world will reflect those thoughts to us. This is the law of the universe, as within so without. Our thoughts create vacuums that the universe must then fill so think kindly of yourself, treat yourself with care and the world will reflect that care back to you.

What Is Sex Appeal At Its Core?

What’s truly appealing is what gives people that something special and it’s not about looks. Interpersonal skills are an art form that requires deep listening, caring intentions, and heartfelt words. Sex appeal can come from making someone feel capable, valuable or self-accepting. Sex appeal comes from making someone feel something.

What’s the goal behind sex appeal? To gather as many people as possible who want to sleep with you or to inspire people to love themselves and live purposeful meaningful lives?

Sex appeal, at its core, comes from being genuinely and unapologetically true to the core of your spiritual being.

When we stop caring what people are thinking about our looks, we stop giving off an insecure vibe. When someone starts thinking about the betterment of society and focusing not on themselves but on the happiness of others, their vibration becomes magnetic.

They automatically are at ease and people feel more comfortable with them because they are happy. People like happy people not painfully insecure people. That is why we see shallow people in short-lived, miserable relationships or in countless affairs.

Two partners are cuddling on a bean bag chair next to a guitar. They are wearing denim with white shirts in front of a grey wall.

Deepest Attraction Comes From Vibrations

Celebrities are a part of a culture that is all about keeping your vibrations up. They take care of themselves with proper foods and take time to relax. Many of them are well versed in wellness subjects and go to seek help on their own soul connection regularly.

This is where their star power comes from. Stars are often not any better looking but their words create energy. Their smiles are infectious and their actions are noble.

What will make you feel sexy all the time is following your heart at all times and living from a place of selfless service uplifting those around you instead of being selfish and trying to get attention from others.

Start to pay attention to this dynamic at play in our society. Many people that are found to be so attractive to society are not focused on themselves.

Those that are self-obsessed and vain will just attract those types of people. It’s a law of the universe that we attract the vibrations we are giving out. When we shift our focus to empowering people, helping them shed their negativity and helping them feel great, we will not only be sexy but we will actually like ourselves.


Visualize your heart spewing energy out like a sun. The next time you feel unattractive, stop yourself and remind yourself that we are living in a culture that thinks inverted. They obsess over what they can get instead of what they can give. This is how you can begin to feel sexy again.

It all comes down to the most powerful wavelength in the universe and the golden rule put so eloquently by President Kennedy, “it’s not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.”

While quoting a politician may seem cliche, I assure it’s the most relevant statement you could come to understand when it comes to feeling sexy. All your actions, thoughts and feelings are governed by your intentions and so if you are supplying energy and love to people, you’re like a power plant of energy instead of a drain.

Be a love powerplant, an output not an input, a giver, not a taker, a warrior and leader instead of a victim. Instead of spending time thinking about how to have the fairytale romance, go out and help people until you’re exhausted and you will stop feeling bad for yourself.

The next time you find yourself in self-loathing or self-pity, read this article to get back on track. You can love yourself more by loving others, seeing past their shortcomings and treating them as you would like to be treated. People will not feel threatened by you, instead, they will respect you.

Read Next: Free Yourself: How to Let Go of Negative Self-Talk

* Editor’s note: This article was previously published February 14, 2018 and has been updated for accuracy.

Shannon Yrizarry

Shannon Yrizarry

Trusting her intuition has brought Shannon a wealth of gifts and she brings this wisdom to Daily Life … daily! Instead of following the "norms" of career development, Shannon followed her gut. It's led her to some extraordinary places and experiences as a healer, clairvoyant, metaphysical teacher and Kundalini yoga instructor.... Read More

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