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Selfish Thought Patterns: Break Through Unhappiness

“Empathy is one of the keys that unlocks the door to happiness.”

The above quote highlights how the power of empathy not only increases our awareness of other people’s feelings but also helps to lead us on the path to true happiness.

How can this be? We are all human beings and we are all part of the same collective. None of us can escape this bond we have with every other human on earth, even if we want to. Therefore, our own happiness is intrinsically linked with theirs.

When we act with compassion and empathy, we naturally experience greater happiness because we are doing things for the collective, not for ourselves. By contrast, when we do things for purely selfish reasons, we may think that we are acquiring happiness but in reality, we may be acquiring misery.

The truth is, the more selfless we are, the greater we experience happiness. True happiness cannot be acquired by things that come from the outside. It can only come from within.

We must first be able to recognize when we are stuck in a selfish or single-serving mindset or thought pattern. We are a result of environment, true, but we are also highly capable of making change when we have a strong enough desire!

What are Thought Patterns?

Thought patterns are deeply ingrained within us, often stemming from when we are young. These thought patterns affect how we judge others, how much we value our experiences and leads us to say, do, and feel things. We learn form our environments - and this is how we establish our thought patterns - we see something every day and assume right and wrong based on those experiences. If we are not exposed to alternate ideas or perspectives, we would not likely change our innate thought process.

The thing with thought patterns is, we are ultimately in control of what they are and how they operate. We have the power to break through our own thought patterns that are not beneficial to us or others if we choose to. But how do we know we need to change?!

Evaluating Selfish Thought Patterns

Selfish thoughts exist, there is no doubt about it. And while we can’t avoid it entirely, we can learn healthy ways to redirect these thoughts with positive energy. Just as we are the makers of our own destiny, we can also become the makers of our own thought patterns!

It won’t help to deny that selfish thoughts are there or that you are already above selfish tendencies, as this prevents us from growing and learning from our mistakes. Even leaders of thought in our time are battling with selfish thought patterns on a daily basis. We will always need to be diligent in recognizing our default mode: to try to puff up our chests, brag to impress or defend ourselves.

A man is holding his hands together as he looks out at a lake in contemplation.

That may sound harsh, however, this is the truth. We are so deeply programmed that even when we think we’ve broken through the pattern, it sneaks back in through the cracks in our psyche where we are insecure and where we go on autopilot when we aren’t paying attention. When we are busy, we start really leaning on this system of thought because we aren’t consciously directing our thoughts to override the selfish pattern of the masses that degrades our auras on a daily basis.

You must work, moment by moment, to counteract the river of consciousness that leads to selfish thoughts if you hope to move past them. But if you are willing to face them, as they say - the truth will set you free.

How Do We Break Selfish Thought Patterns?

So how do we break through it?

1. Recognize The Thought

When the thought pattern revolves around “me” or “I” rather than “they” then this is an indication of the selfish thought pattern. Recognizing it is the first step to tackling it.

2. Evaluate It

Ask yourself why you have this thought pattern. Recognizing the why is crucial to understand why you think the way you do. This could mean going quite deep within and possibly going years back in your life. Meditating while doing this or talking to a trusted friend can be very helpful with this process.

3. Acknowledge & Let Go Of It

Try doing this by writing the selfish thought pattern down. When you’ve done that, rip it up or burn it. This is like a ritual of letting go and your subconscious mind will recognize this as you telling it to release the thought pattern so that it is no longer a part of you.

A man is holding his arms open in front of a waterfall. He is free and releasing negative energy.

Creating a New Thought Pattern

New thought patterns are created by replacing the selfish thought with loving and kind intentions. Let’s look at some of the ways you can create new thought patterns.

1. Consider How Your Thoughts Impact Others

Think in terms of the collective, not the “I.” As we move into the Age of Aquarius, we become more concerned with the collective than the individual. This does not mean we lose our individuality. It just means that we are now able to harness our individuality and work together.

Think of how each of your actions and words affects others. If you catch yourself saying something which you know will hurt another, stop and think. Recall your new thought pattern.

2. Think Of Who You Could Be

Think about the type of person you want to be and the sort of energy you wish to give out into the world. Remember that as a unique individual, you play your own special role in the collective as mankind progresses forward.

This is the creative part, let’s dream of who could you be and how can you better yourself. If you notice that you are being selfish, consider how you could have acted differently. Do you want to work towards changing your biases or having closer connections with loved ones? The first step after noticing the thought pattern is planning where you’d like to go.

Depending on your learning type, taking this on might be writing down when you notice things or talking to loved ones to get feedback. However, this works for you is alright, as long as you approach the subject with openness in your heart.

Related Article: How to Bring Joy Back Into Your Life with the Law of Attraction

A woman is thinking at a desk in a field.

3. Actively Practice New Thought Patterns

Change won’t happen unless we put time and energy behind it, so practice your new thought pattern as much as possible. Sometimes we will think things that have been programmed into us by how we are raised and the society we grew up in, but it is our responsibility to recognize them and reroute our thoughts into positive action.

You are a result of your surroundings, but you do not have to continue to be!

This process can also be used for healing ourselves internally. If your new thought pattern is “I am beautiful” because you have been dealing with self-image issues and thinking negatively about yourself, then do things to feel beautiful! Buy a new outfit, get your hair done, look in the mirror, and tell yourself repeatedly how beautiful you are.

4. Use Positive Affirmations

To keep the practice more tangible and part of your daily routine, try writing down ten affirmations of the type of thought pattern you want to have.

For example, if your negative thought pattern revolves around feeling superior to others because you feel more intelligent, affirmations like, “I will stay calm if someone disagrees with me,” or “They are not stupid just because they think differently to me” can be very helpful. Once you have your affirmations, repeat them to yourself morning and night. Eventually, your subconscious mind will get the message for what you are trying to tell it!

Conclusion: Don’t Give Up!

Breaking out of negative thought patterns and creating new ones takes time. Be patient with yourself and don’t think badly of yourself if you find yourself slipping into old ways. Your desire to make these changes within you is a truly admirable quality and you should be proud of yourself.

Remember, bit by bit change can be made. You can create the reality you want and you can become whoever you want to be. We are not born with our thoughts. They are programmed into us and very often they enter our minds and make a permanent home there when we are still in the developing stages and trying to understand who we are.

We reach a stage where we take back control of ourselves and we think, “I’m going to be whoever I choose to be!” If you are at that stage, then good on you. Keep going and remember there is nothing you can’t achieve if you put your mind to it.

Related Article: The Secret to Self Empowerment: How to Set Intentions

Sarah Brownlee

Sarah Brownlee

Having worked as a teacher, a bartender, and even a private investigator, writing was something Sarah Brownlee just fell into, even though it had been her passion since she was a little girl. To date, she has written and published 3 Children and Young Adult fiction novels, ghostwritten for others, and... Read More

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